Full Moon Presents DELIRIUM – A Magazine Over 30 Years in the Making

Posted in all categories with tags , , , , , , , , , on 04/04/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

There’s a pink elephant in the room. It’s magenta really, has some exceptionally well spiked tusks with pointed ears, bat wings and resembles something your kid created in art class with teeth. So let’s banish the goddamn elephant before it hurts someone. There’s a new subscription based magazine out now from Full Moon called Delirium, and it’s chock full of the stuff that horror fans love to read about. It covers classic horror movies that are very collectible with excellent special features, in nice packaging with good transfers. Sounds good, right? I agree, but it is imperative that you remember one simple fact (the elephant rears its head). It’s put out by Full Moon, and as such is more or less one solid advertisement for Full Moon’s product lines. Big surprise? It really shouldn’t be, but it is absolutely a must remember when reading. Charlie Band is a great marketer (and not a marketeer as I have been known to call them). He is a business man who knows how to put something in your hand and downright force you to buy it. I know this first hand. He just did it to me at MonsterMania in Cherry Hill, NJ. The real question is should you be paying for a magazine that is essentially the equivalent of a smathering of full length advertisements in interview and review form? Actually, yes.
The editor is Chris Alexander from Fangoria, so if you like Alexander’s style, but maybe not thrilled with their coverage of newer content, this is a perfect option for you to enjoy his take on some retro titles from the Full Moon and Empire catalog. He’s the same Chris Alexander you’ve known for years. His interviews are good. His voice is modern, respectful and funny with hints of irreverence and he tells it like it is. I enjoy the introductions he does for movies on some of the newer Italian Horror releases, and would be interested to see him tackle the Full Moon catalog in the same capacity. That being said, if you dislike Alexander, this magazine may not be for you. It’s not an extension of Fangoria or Gorezone (and Thank you for bring back Gorezone, Chris), but it does have the feeling of some of Fango’s retro mags in particular Fango’s looks back at George Romero, John Carpenter and David Cronenberg.
The article content is informative, original and will be much beloved by horror fans. Re-animator is in focus, and Delirium provides interviews with Barbara Crampton and Stuart Gordon.  There plenty of color pictures throughout the mag, but none more enjoyable than the birthday suit clad Crampton in her most famous role. Putting these images into a magazine is sure way assure its success.
My favorite piece is the look back at David Schmoeller’s Tourist Trap. This is a personal favorite film of mine. When people ask me what my favorite horror movies are it immediate comes to mind and is one of the only movies to actually terrify me (still does… sort of). The discussion is generally a behind the scenes look at the production, actors, casting and release. Some of the anecdotes I’m more than familiar with, others, were fresh and voluptuous pieces of knowledge. Fans of “the Trap’ are in for a treat. Seeing as this is one of the newest releases by Full Moon on Blu-ray, it makes sense to feature it. I’ll be reviewing that title later this month (and perhaps doing a bit more with Chuck Connors and Schmoeller).


There’s a feature on composer Richard Band which plays close to my heart as a fan of Band’s style (including Re-animator’s homage to Psycho), an article by Stuart Gordon about creating super hero movies (it’s totally awesome and out there), a look at the Velvet Vampire straight out of the Grindhouse, a first look at Wizard Studios, the production arm for Full Moon that is producing newly minted/distributed horror features and a look at some of the new era in Full Moon toy-craft. This magazine is full of content, original content with unique stills and images that provide a deeper look into cult classic horror. This is a magazine of substance; a hearty periodical with wonderfully thick paper. Full color. Wait till you get your peepers on the Asian Re-animator poster insert!

Remember when Charles Band and Full Moon revolutionized the videotape industry by throwing Videozone on the end of his releases? It was the precursor to the additional content one finds regularly on the DVD and Blu-ray of today (and on the laser discs of old). Band’s outro to the zine talks about his place in history. It’s a look back at what he’s accomplished, what Delirium hopes to do for fans and how what we can expect in the future. While the intent is pretty clear that we’re dealing with a focused magazine with content that is nearly specific to the marketing aims of Full Moon and its kin, there’s enough in the cannon of this legendary company, filmmaker and spin offs to create the demand for this love letter. Sure you can look at it as a sort of masturbation experiment, but who doesn’t love a good tug under the Full Moon.
You can order Delirium online here, and start a subscription (issue two looks to feature Tombs of the Blind Dead!). Also make sure to follow Full Moon in general on Facebook.
One last note: Remember when I said that I had been “sold” something by Charles Band in person? Well it was a 3 month subscription to their new streaming service that came along with some nice introductory gifts. I plan to review that service in the near futre as well, but since they’ve licensed select titles from the Blue Underground catalog (check out Blue Underground here) you can bet that all the Lustig-y goodness is coming home to roost. More on that later. For now… this is a good mag. Let’s see how it evolves.

-Doc Terror


Return to NUKE ‘EM HIGH Vol.1 (Troma/Anchor Bay Blu-ray) – Reconfiguring the Radioactive

Posted in all categories with tags , , , , on 04/03/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

I suppose if you’re going to retell a Troma story, you might as well have Troma do it. That’s what you get in Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol. 1. An updated remake of the original Class of Nuke ‘Em High with some brutal updates, new casting and plot divergence as well as an effort to make it more timely. The first thing you’ll notice about Return is that it wants you to know that it knows that it “sold out”. It makes no pretense about being a remake or retelling/reimagining; it’s pretty clear that the new world isn’t nearly as afraid of nuclear power plants and now, we’re afraid of food. The thing that is good for you may disfigure you. It may make you sick. It just. Might. Kill you! From there it’s just a radiation scarred monster movie with everything you love about Troma movies. Everything.

Synopsis from Troma:

Welcome to Tromaville High School. Your typical high school populated with your basic football jocks, wannabe prom queens and glee club hopefuls. Did I say “typical?” After all, this is Tromaville High, where the glee club has mutated into the hideous Cretins after eating tainted tacos courtesy of the Tromorganic Foodstuffs Conglomerate. Chrissy and Lauren, two innocent lovers/bloggers, must not only fight the adolescent beasts and freaks, they must also defeat the evil Conglomerate.

The comparison game begins the minute you that you’re watching a remake. No it won’t have that same 80′s feel, but it certainly has that Troma spirit. I enjoyed the original Class of Nuke ‘Em High quite a bit, so it would be hard to compare Return to it without having a strong nostalgia play guide my opinion. I suppose I’m making too much a of a deal of it being labeled a remake or at least an update. It certainly isn’t a continuation of the series, but Lloyd Kaufman’s in the director’s chair (if Troma is allowed to have chairs on their budget). The best thing to realize is that this is an all out Troma movie and those who love Troma releases whether distributed or made in house will enjoy this feature as well.

Never forget that Troma supplies plenty of moral lessons hidden behind strong, exploitative content. It’s like filth propaganda that excites while trying to make you a better citizen. Toxie would be proud.

Let’s run it down…

The Players: Tromettes and Tromeos filled with overacting. Not bad acting, but these fellas and femmes bring it ALL to the table. Casting is always solid in a Troma movie because they get exactly what they want… Cheap.

The Scare: Not scary. Disgusting. Lesbian sex that includes a girl vomiting into another girls mouth with great big gooey green shit is… an artistic vision, but it won’t scare you. Bring your Pepto. Find the toilet. Avoid eating.

The B(lood) & G(ore): There are some perfect scenes of melting flesh that are completely over the top, unrealistic and entertaining. Giant cocks. Pregnant stomach explosions. Killer penis monsters. Um… it’s a Troma movie. You’ve been warned (and welcomed)

The Ta’s: Where Troma succeeds like no other is getting young ladies and gents to remove their clothes. The boobs flow like flapjacks at a firehouse breakfast in this feature. The only different? The caliber of naked people on screen is exceptionally high. We’re talking about some class A hot lesbian action. If you can watch Return with a hand down your pants or someone else’s hand down your pants I strongly recommend it.

The Family Plot: It’s Nuke ‘Em High get radioactive. The class gets crazy and turns into a bunch of strange mutants rebels with a battle that is left unresolved in part (this is a volume one after all). To be continued.

The Finish: To be continued and you’ll want to continue to see how they might outdo this picture thought not from a plot perspective. You’ll demand more violence and sex and gore and green shit. That’s what you’ll want from volume 2. I’m excited. I’m a Troma fan.

The Art: My favorite goddamn cover art of this year/last year and maybe longer. I love this strange nudie femme meets mondo disaster with excellent fonts/logo work. The green case is perfect.

The Tech and Extras: It’s filled to the brim. That’s what Troma does. Well done guys.

· Audio Commentary with Actors Zac Amico, Clay von Carlowitz, Catherine Corcoran, Stuart Kiczek and Asta Parades;

· Audio Commentary with Writer/Producer/Director Lloyd Kaufman, Producer Justin A. Martell, Executive Producer Matt Manjourides, Associate Producer Regina Katz and Writer Travis Campbell;

· Casting Conundrum;

· Pre-Production Hell with Mein-Kauf (Man);

· Special (Ed) Effects;

· Cell-U-Lloyd Kaufman: 40 Years of TROMAtising The World;

· “Architects of Fear – Edison Device” Music Video

· Return To Nuke ‘Em High, Vol. 2 trailer

Overall this is a fine entry into the Nuke ‘Em High tradition and canon. It’s includes the movie elements that made the original entries in the series great while offering some new concepts to hook the Troma-virgins. Laugh it up because that’s why we watch Troma movies. Get aroused, get lucky, vomit on each other and pick up a really get release. Let’s face it. I’m a reviewer from New Jersey and the damn movie takes place in the Garden State. How am I not going to love this movie? The original came out when I was 6 years old, and I would have loved both Class of and Return to just the same if I watched them in ’86 or 2014.
You can order Return to Nuke ‘Em High now! Releases March 18th.
-Doc Terror


Posted in all categories with tags , , , , , on 04/02/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

A movie with the title Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer is a no brainer. You watch it because it has a great title. There’s actually a statistical proven occurrence by which a movie with a title as great as Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer will automatically be well worth your hour and change. Proven statistically or not you simply have to appreciate this entertaining picture because in this instance the hyperbole is accurate. Atom is funny. It is chaos. It is gore When the filmmakers behind this feature say that it doesn’t feature zombies, they are not lying. When the award presenters said it was a truly funny horror comedy, that was also accurate, and yet it all comes back to a guy named Atom, zombie killing (or lack there of) and of course, bowling.

Synopsis from Bizjack Flemco Productions (authored by Tim Johnson):

Atom is an amazing zombie killer, has a horny girlfriend…and is the best bowler in the league! But don’t tell that to Dario and the Slashers, the evil bowling rivals who will stop at nothing to thwart Atom and his buddies. When all of his problems come to a head, Atom must battle his worst nightmare–ZOMBIES! May the bloodbath begin! The first ZOMBIE movie to NOT feature ZOMBIES! lets ROCK and BOWL in this outrageous horror comedy

I suppose the first thing to note is to set your expectations. This is a gory, low budget horror comedy. This was not made my filmmakers aching to tell their indie horror tale to scare the tampon out of you (they’d rather use their teeth to remove it to be certain). It includes the dreaded zed word in the title which must a finely crafted quip at the over-saturation drenching Red One’s everywhere in the latest attempting to put an undead rotter in front of a camera. Everyone has a zombie tale. No one has an un-zombie tale or at least no one like our dastardly duo, Richard Taylor and Zack Beins. There’s a real vision behind ATAZK. It isn’t artsy fartsy with fancy camera angles attempting to hide it’s budget beneath carefully planned shots. It throws the fake intestines right on the table and screams seconds! Thirds! So managing your expectations is important. If you’re a fan of the zombie subgenre do not expect a Walking Dead rehash with physical comedy thrown in and out and out parody. That’s not to say the zombie crowd won’t get it or appreciate it because more than likely they’ll find it a breath of fresh air.

Yes Lloyd Kaufman is in the picture, and while that can be the telltale sign that a picture may be unwatchable or at least as a moderate chance of an overused tactic to get asses in front of the screen, Atom creatively uses Kaufman’s presence as a nod and self-reflective piece of humor. You can keep your eyes on the screen and prepare for what might be an unofficial, official Troma homage. These fellas know how to throw sex and splatter at a screen and make it stick. You’ll be wiping your palms as well as your screen clean. Bring tissues and Windex to the theater (they’ll probably give you a dollar off admission).

Now that we understand some of the fundamentals of the picture let’s run down the list.

The Players: So Lloyd shows up, but that’s the only face you’ll more than likely remember. This is a low budget production. It’s cast is effective at conveying humor with performances as outlandish as a movie called Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer might demand. The punkers are funny and overact to perfection. Your heroes and anti-heroine offer solid Troma-eseque performances.

The Scare: It’s not. It’s funny, but it has gore (see below)

The B(lood) & G(ore): It’s bright red blood and very fake prosthetic  body parts. Do not expect realism. Expect a gross out that won’t phase the Troma or August Underground crowd, but might get your teenage cousin to find the potty.

The Ta’s: Ample babe. All babe. Perfectly annoying slutty babe bad girl, back stabbing babe.

The Family Plot: Not all movies can be solid bowling movies. It feels like we live in a post-Big Lebowski sporting frenzy where everyone wants to dry their balls over America’s greatest past time… it’s bowling right? Atom uses the basic backdrop of a bowling alley and sporting team feud in a non-invasive comedic way. It’s on the nice list.

The Finish: Triumphant. You’ll see. No spoilers and worth the wait.

The Art: There’s some damn cool cover art/poster art.

Extras: It has some intros and dialogues with the creators as well as audience reaction. This was a screener review that was gilded toward review by film festival judges and the like (heathens!). I’d love to see what these fun folks put together for a feature release especially with the great team of Kaufman and Herz behind the mess.

Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer is for the horror splatter fans who get it. This will do well with the Shot on Video crowd, for those who remember fondly how a VHS tape smelled and how anyone can make a movie, but only the gnarliest can make an Atom.  I solid first endeavor by Beins and Taylor with nods to the virgin cast. Make sure to check out the excellent soundtrack which is available at their online store HERE. Unfortunately the limited edition clamshell VHS is out of stock, but T-Shirts are available.

Follow along on Facebook and check back in the screening section of the website to figure out how you can enjoy Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer. It played Tromadance and you may even see a Troma release which fits perfectly with the style, subject and independent beauty of the film.
-Doc Terror

Tom Holland’s TWISTED TALES (DVD) – Not Tom Holland’s Opus

Posted in all categories with tags , , on 04/01/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

It seems that the horror anthology cycle is upon us or has been upon or continues to be sitting on our chest. This past year George Romero put his name on Deadtime Stories Volume one and two, which has to be one of the worst anthology collections I’ve seen in quite some time. It lacked humor, quality, good storytelling and even a feeling of cohesion that allowed for the portmanteau experience to feel natural. For those of you who are familiar with the Amicus anthologies of old, you understand what I mean by cohesion… an experience that feel like one solid effort collecting several horror tales as opposed to the feeling of a wannabe TV series without commonality, focused solely on putting shorts into a ball and marketing them. Unfortunately Tom Holland’s Twisted Tears falls into this same pitfall though it does have one thing that Romero’s folly did not, a “so-bad-it’s-good” quality that might make it worth the watch.
Note: I love Holland’s older work, so this review, as damning as it is, is hard to write.Also Note: I adore George Romero, and Deadtime Stories has been a serious blip in the question zone in my brain.
Synopsis from Image/Fearnet:
Horror Legend Tom Holland (Child’s Play, Fright Night, Psycho II, HBO’s Tales from the Crypt) dares you to join him for nine nerve-shredding, totally TwistedTales. Serving up a mind-bending assortment of the macabre, it’s an anthology of darkness and dread fine-tuned to keep you on the edge of your seat. A new drug offers users a glimpse of the future… with beastly consequences. A murderous husband is stalked by his own cell phone. A jilted lover wreaks satanic vengeance. The nightmarish action then leads to worlds haunted by dark magic, demonic possession, vampires, witches and more in this seriously freaky festival of fear.

I’m going to go about this as a list of problems. It’s the only way I can see to properly convey what is wrong with this without you thinking that I’m picking on anthologies. I love anthologies. I’m an anthology junkie. I’m even a forgiving anthology junkie who enjoys even some of the bad Amicus productions.
Problem: Great actors. Shitty performances.
You can’t just put Danielle Harris, William Forsythe, Ray Wise, Sarah Butler and AJ Bowen in a movie and expect it to rock. They have to give it there all. They have to care, and maybe it’s not they’re fault. This could be the example of bad directing or bad writing. Even the best actor can’t fix bad scripts if the director won’t let them. AJ Bowen’s performance is probably the best of the bunch though still not up to what we’ve enjoyed from in the past. This is a failure to use some of the best tools in the horror industry. It’s a waste.
Problem: Short stories need to not include mini-movies or novellas.
Typically, the most successful anthologies maintain a certain continuity of length and style throughout. Each story is about 15 to 20 minutes long. Transitions are fluid if not comicbooky, if not a fade out. What you have in Twisted Tales is a variety of story lengths from the very short to the exceptionally cumbersome. Including a chapter movie near the end of this dirge of distaste is pure torture. You just want the damn story and the movie to end, but instead they keep feeding you the obvious and forcing you to accept it as a segmented volume of shit. This is over two hours long. Editing. Do it. Cut the shit, and maybe you can salvage the slop pile.
Problem: Tom Holland’s introductions are TV show, not movie quality.

Holland’s intro for each movie feels like John Carpenter introducing each story in Body Bags. Body Bags was actually supposed to be show, so I give it a pass, not to mention the intro’s are funny rather than serious and include some nice makeup and backdrop. Holland is a great speaker, but he is not a host. He is a good storyteller (just no in this feature). He’s an excellent writer, so what happened here? His narration doesn’t help to congeal the tales into one bonded film, and further he actually disjoints it with what feel like mini-title card/TV style introductions. Maybe this was going to be a short series on Fearnet banded together. That would explain the mess, and almost give this problem a pass. Invent a wrap story when all else fails or at least be clever.
Problem: Too much on the plate… filled with MSG.

This is over two hours long. It has too many stories. Think about the greatest anthology horror movies you’ve seen. Typically a five story max with a solid wrap story will do the trick. More than that requires separate viewings. We don’t need to see EVERYTHING you shot. Just the good stuff. Cut it back. Trim the fat. These decisions will make it a movie and not a pile of stories.
Remember when I said I did enjoy the unintentional humor? I did. I really laughed at some of the dialogue and I’m positive you will too. It was on par with Troll 2 or The Room in terms of laughability. Unfortunately you still have to sit through it. My guess is that you’ll watch it until you get bored because you most likely will. If you have the right substances in you, the right group of friends, the complete lack of something else to do and eat only the bright colored paint chips, this might be for you.
You can order Tom Holland’s Twisted Tales NOW! Releases March 18th.
(Remember… Tom Holland has done plenty of amazing stuff… find it, and do not judge the man by this most recent work.)
-Doc Terror


HEADLESS EYES From Blood Farmers: Nightmares and DOOMscapes!!!

Posted in all categories with tags , , , on 03/31/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

Today we’re going to tackle Headless Eyes by Blood Farmers in a completely different way than I’ve tackled full albums before. Let’s provide minimal analysis. Some discussion of the album art and graphic design as well as the possible song origins, but the focus of this review will how each song makes me feel; the visions each song inspires. Headless Eyes is a dark psychedelic dirge evoking great gobs of 70′s metal iconography, beautiful dark wave fantasy and the sick demented splatter art of maniacs playing with instruments summoning strange demons. Let’s sit in their midst and feel the beat of madman musically creating stories of a time without light.

First, the ordinary or at least what you might expect from a review. Headless Eyes is a six song EP released just this year. While I am familiar with Blood Farmers previous efforts this will be the first time I am aware of them and buying an album from them as it streets. The insert artwork is a collection of monochromatic stills from the Kent Bateman classic Headless Eyes. This is a movie that may not necessarily be a masterpiece, but it has deep cult following and one of the best VHS covers ever released from Wizard Video. The disc itself features plenty of blood and an eye removal. Blood Farmers are for horror fans.
The song selection is varied between epic ten minute battles du sludge and shorter, sweeter fantastical jams that provide bridge work between long strides of pure doom and boom. It is important to remember that the album does not necessarily promise groundbreaking, new sound but offers a perfect amalgam of classic 70′s metal with slow, well-paced stomps from Tad Leger and Sabbath-esque solos and weeping hammer-ons that lead into and percussive, full-bodied bass runs from David Szulkin that connect the dot between tales of absolute darkness and inhuman, unnatural things in the unknown from vocalist Eli Brown. Fans of doom, sludge and stoney metal will be pleased as will fans of Blood Farmers earlier work.
Here’s the track by track. This is what I saw in my mind’s eye while listening to it and free form written as the song progressed.
Gut Shot
A battle of feet meeting the pavement on a gray day in an urban cityscape surrounded by closed doors of after business hours window shopping but with only one item on the brain: vengeance. Between steps and heart beats that natural rhythm of the world becomes awkward and confused yielding a feeling of disconnect. There’s a victim at the end of this slow meander, if only the heightened adrenaline addiction can hold out like a sex fiend not wanting to cum too soon. It’s nightfall now and hunger of an altogether different kind removes the prey/victim relationship from a slightly skewed brain stem. They survive for one more night only because he lets them, and that’s only because he’s got a hearty appetite. 
Headless Eyes
(Love the opening sample)
Medieval broken castles surround like giant stone monsters, old and full of stories, but with eyes squinted shut spoiling derision and anger upon all who pass them. This chain mail is very hot. This armor is heavy. It’s been days between food, but they told me I’d find some sort of dark evil out here. Some kind of wandering devil or dragon. Something to save them all from. Tired and arms couldn’t lift this sword to cut a loaf of bread. The mind begins to worry less about the good intentions of men fighting monsters and more toward allowing the monsters to be victorious. For putting burdens on young men’s backs. For creating martyrs where they were unnecessary. 
Stand up now and find the stale remnants of old food. Wormy. Mealy. Edible only to the dying. The demon is in the shadows and confronts me with coldest claws. Sour Jabberwocky. Free form changing tower of pure malice and spite. Stinking like fishheads in the sun. Putrify. Detestable. Mutant. With a swing the blinded demon is crushed back to the stone obelisk form it once took. Where strength had failed a weary traveler, the evil failed it’s own ambition and forgot the will of man is stronger than stone or hunger or even fiery roadside murder. 
Time to return home now with the head of the beast. I shall wear it on my skull and scream and let it’s foul green slime drip down my bear chest, un-mailed/armored. I am the great god wretch. I piss myself in slow waves while walking out of spite for the future hero worshipers who make great pedestal builders but shitty friends. I will walk through the walls of doomed men, the doomer, the destructor, the battle worn dragon they feared but could not understand and some young man will surrender me to the earth. I will feel the blood and piss and my entrails and this heavy devil head fall away. And the town will be free until someone picks up the shredded rotting head mask.
The Creeper
The serpent crawls along in waves of side winded spins into the sky along painted, technicolor, rich trails into an acid washed sky. A nuclear cloud of creeping radiation spoils over the desert and it looks like a cup of water color rinse water spilled over a canvas of cream and copper. 
At the apex of the distant horizon falls a horse lead by a man. Walking toward us. Walking away from us. He is the bringer of the cloud and the sky and it’s strange color and all that the color brings with it. He comes this way. Gently. Slowly. Dreadfully.
Thousand-Yard Stare
You do not fuck with this man. This is the puppet on the end of the pole with a showdown forced to play the cowboy even with his worst adversary in sight. He has walked into town. He is the man who dies. 
I am the cowboy who makes the death. The man at the end of the good guy story who brings the guns to town and has the happy Sunday morning suit. I drink the bottles. I play the role of sheriff when the sheriff plays the role of the town drunk, but I am not long for this role or this world or the man who is not to be fucked with for he is the pill on the tongue in the suicide tent of a town that needs a scapegoat. 
You do not fuck with this man. He is the ape killer.The mongrel man. The burnt and charred, double dose over dose under dog. He wears the poncho of the ghost you were afraid of as a child. In the basemen of your mind the unknown dances across your face like cobwebs tickling you into hysterics. He is the man you do not fuck with. You do not fuck with this man. You do not survive. 
I am the little boy playing the cowboy. I am the little boy in the corner who was caught with his hand in the chaw bowl. Life begins its punishment and the weepy ghost I see that battles through town like a lumbering stranger called death came looking for me. Because I called for him from so far away. 
I should not have called this man. You do not fuck with him. He fucks. He is the death dealer. I am the coin.
Night of the Sorcerers
Dripping magic falls from atop a hill raining like great green slimy electrical fire bolts reigning down over the entire countryside in a moment of pagan ritual. The wizard is on the hill and fires off the spells and the ritual and you will know what it means to be afraid this night. 
Break out of your home and start a clever sprint to the farthest place you could think of. Look for home. Look for the summer time. Do not look at the shadows falling like the Towers being called on that witch hill. The men are skeletons and the trees have great big hands to wrench you back into the clutches of the man who controls the world. 
And from the eyes of fire on top of the hill marches out great claws and clambering and climbing fingers from the pit of stark raving madness like tentacles and tendrils and all those things the straight jacket wearers like to dream about but never dare tell you about. These are the sorcerers. This is the night of the old gods, and the world is no longer safe. Walpurgis. The great veil. 
The being of mal-intent begins a lumbering descent into the valley. He looks for no one or nothing. He is hungry only for your sacrifice. Your bones in between his diamond teeth. 
Now get up and run. And run. And run. run run run run as fast and as far. The thing is after you. It’s on you. It on your tail. Don’t look back or you will lose all the parts you hold most dear. The green light of strange magic illuminates the sky and the great skull crusher bounds after you promising a swift cat and mouse catch followed by a thousand years of slow decay. There’s nowhere to hide for the Sorcerer’s beast.
Best to give in to the teeth gnasher. The unholy, patriarch of the virtuous monsters. Step toward it, and face the death you die for the village as the sacrifice (though never asked to). Satiate it. Become the food. Succumb to it. Just long enough to rip into it’s slimy mouth, rip out a tooth and slay it with a slash and hack. Let the green drippings dance on your tongue. You are the night master. They are the sorcerers in your playground. 
Thus endeth the “interpretive writing” part of our review.
I’d like to make a comment on the last track, The Road Leads to Nowhere. I adore this David Hess track. Ever since I saw Last House on the Left I became enamored with it. I’ve enjoyed it’s many incarnations, covers, variations. Some day I’d like to cover it with both the Wait for the Rain and The Road Leads to Nowhere versions medleyed together. This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man and musician who I regret never meeting. David Hess gave us great villainy. He also composed beautiful music. This rendition has been on repeat several times over the last week since I first enjoyed Headless Eyes. A fitting way to end an awesome album.
Here’s a track from the album to wet your palette.
I strongly urge you to follow Bloody Farmer now on Facebook.
Pick up the CD right now. Fans of the doom. Fans of the metal. Support awesome music.
Thanks for the great music equivalent of a shortened acid trip.
-Doc Terror

Odd Thomas (Blu-ray) – Would You Like Odd With That?

Posted in all categories with tags , on 03/30/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

I think Anton Yelchin does just a fantastic job at winning hearts. That’s why he was great as the son in the TV show Huff and Fright Night (which has to be one of the more controversial remakes I’ve made in an opening statement to a film review). I was looking back over his career that started in 2000’s and figuring out just where I had seen him. Each movie he’s been in that I enjoyed, he was able to tie himself to me emotionally by being a soft spoken lion that would roar from beneath his quiet, nervous exterior to become a dominant acting for and a stronger a character. That brings us to 2013’s Odd Thomas, a movie featured at Toronto After Dark that is finally seeing a release after being stalled in some contractual/lender litigation. It’s a great watch because Yelchin’s on fire, but it’s even better because of the twisted writing style of Dean Koontz and the adaptation that favors metaphysical relationships between characters that will force the audience into thinking mode and allow for a deeper viewing experience.
Synopsis from Image:

Small-town fry cook Odd Thomas (Anton Yelchin) is an ordinary guy with a paranormal secret: he sees dead people, everywhere. When a creepy stranger shows-up with an entourage of ghostly bodachs – predators who feed on pain and portend mass destruction – Odd knows that his town is in serious trouble. Teaming up with his sweetheart Stormy (Addison Timlin) and the local sheriff (Willem Dafoe), Odd plunges into an epic battle of good vs evil to try to stop a disaster of apocalyptic proportions. Based on the best-selling thriller by Dean Koontz,

Alongside Yelchin, we find Willem Dafoe, Addison Timlin and Patton Oswalt all in strong, starring roles, cast appropriately and lending fire to an emotional saga. Dafoe is his standard rough but concerned role displaying a wide range of emotions with a single stare. It’s ultimately a romantic film with supernatural elements so you’ll fall in the love with the characters while trying to conceive of some of the strange space/time issues. That’s probably why this movie works. It doesn’t try to hard to play on the paranormal that it forgets that the best stories in science fiction are human stories. This isn’t exactly a question of morality as many new science fiction films tout. This is a story of fate and of consequence, synchronicity and the interaction of supernatural forces coming together to make or break human bonds. Odd Thomas accomplishes this by remaining a human story. It’s as if the supernatural elements of the pictures simply help to turn the page while the empathy that develops between viewer and Yelchin grows to allow for the proper suspense and tension.

While I don’t want to spoil the film, the ending may be its downfall. It’s as if Odd Thomas spends so much time developing a beautiful tale of love, love that needs protecting and looking after that it had to find an ending to drop off the audience at the babysitter. I’m not saying that it’s an obvious ending or that you’ll see it coming, but it will not be the first time this plot device has been used and in this instance it does not stand up to the rest of the picture’s power.

The set pieces are vivid and look overall tone is dark, but hopeful though the hope is not necessarily realized. This is a thriller as described and a mystery but it is also a very personal story that follows a man through the perks and perils of having the ability to see things that simply haven’t happened yet. Director Stephen Sommers may have quite a few action movies under this belt having directed The Mummy and The Mummy Returns as well as Van Helsing and GI Joe The Rise of Cobra, but this strays from that pattern. While there are action pact moments, Odd Thomas is a more cerebral movie than we’ve seen from Sommers in the past. Though I question this picture’s $23 million dollar price tag having seen quite a lot done for far less from director’s in his league. I wonder if the film can hope to make its budget back.

While Odd Thomas may stand well on its own, it is important to remember that it is an adaptation of a Dean Koontz novel which means it has the backing of an excellent writer even if it the adaptation is a little off base. Koontz novels lend themselves well to films (remember The Watchers). While I haven’t read Odd Thomas, you can see Koontz hallmarks behind the characters and basic narrative.

The disc may be bare bones when it comes to extras, but what it lacks in goodies it more than makes up with a great look on screen.

Order Odd Thomas on Blu-ray or DVD Now.

-Doc Terror


THE SWIMMER (Grindhouse Releasing Blu-ray) – You Find Your Own Pool, Burt Lancaster!

Posted in all categories with tags , , on 03/29/2014 by Dr. Jimmy Terror

Dr. Jimmy TERROR of  DOCTERROR.COM will be joining us as a resident guest writer for an undetermined amount of time. Be prepared to have your eyes written shut with the pre-history and post-apocalypse of HORROR. Give him a like over on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.

Since Grindhouse Releasing has started releasing Blu-rays, they’ve blessed us with some very unique material. What was one a house for Italian Splatter gems and and exploitation awesome has truly become a market for a different kind of underbelly. With releases like An American Hippie in Israel, Corruption and The Big Gundown under their belt perhaps it was time to tackle something less gritty, more subtle and yet completely powerful in its own right. I’m still trying to figure out where the folks at Grindhouse Releasing dug up Frank Perry’s The Swimmer. I had never heard of it before, and quite honestly the cover left me completely vexed. Did I really need to pick up a release that featured Burt Lancaster in a bath suit with his hand on his hip in front of a goddamn swimming pool? Not since Hammer’s The Snorkel did I feel absolutely funny about digging into a feature film, but you know something? The Swimmer is a touching tale; heartbreaking really, but also a truly emotive piece of cinematic storytelling. I’m glad to know the whole story now after enjoying the G.R. Blu-ray, and I’m anxious for their next releases (back to Italy for Cannibal Holocaust and The Beyond on Blu-ray), but I can’t wait to have them fill my eye sockets with a completely un-horrifying film again. They pick good ones.

Synopsis from Grindhouse Releasing:

Burt Lancaster stars as Ned Merrill, a man who confronts his destiny by swimming home, pool by pool, through the suburban nightmare of upper-class East Coast society. 

What starts as a somewhat bland tale. Man and woman talking and hypothesizing, waxing philosophical and that seems to represent a good portion of the first third of the film. We’re getting to know our protagonists. It’s almost uncomfortable. Schmoozing. Like an intimate, peeping Tom job. Why does a man swim “pool by pool” on some fated sojourn to his home?  So stories emerge and Ned Merrill develops, and we do not suspect the shocking ending for one second. The cover describes it as a longer Twilight Zone episode, and I would agree with that in part save that at least with a Zone you understand from the get go that things are going to twist into the fifth dimension. I don’t think it’s clear from the opening that you’ll eventually wander into a tangent that follows a man from ordinary strange to the leftover carcass of a mere shell. Without the anticipation of the catch or the twist, well, it’s really its own entity, forgoing tension for shock. It’s this shock that makes it perfect Grindhouse fodder even if it was made by a major studio with a biggie star. That it didn’t raid the box office is the only reason it was banished to obscurity.

The G.R. disc comes in a combo pack and the Blu-ray is a thing of great beauty. It’s a good transfer; 1.85:1 AR, created from 4k scans! Aside from production stills and trailers and TV spots, you get over two hours of extras including some mammoth interviews that discuss the creation of The Swimmer and Lancaster beyond the movie. I can safely say that this disc is an education. The double sided cover includes a still on the inside and poster art on the outside. The disc includes a booklet filled with liner notes that round out the package and assist greatly in the understanding of the cult presence of a movie that seemed to fail only for us to allow it a new success.

The typical Grindhouse Releasing crowd… bear with  me and this release. You’re used to Pieces and The Beyond and Cannibal Ferox. It is clearly not one of these pictures. Where it may not necessarily look or sound like something that you’d really enjoy, you probably will. While I find the Twilight Zone reference to be somewhat of a stretch, fans of the Zone should be able to access this release nicely. It isn’t a gory nightmare. It isn’t B rate. It’s actually a high class picture with expert storytelling. It just needed some help to find an audience which is, for now, you. If you have been enjoying this new age of G.R. pictures, The Big Gundown etc., this is another chance to appreciate something, perhaps for the first time.

Order The Swimmer now from DiabolikDVD. Support a great release that is quite touching. This is the filth your used to. It’s a work of art (and I don’t mean finger paints). And man… this score is going to make you weep if Lancaster’s performance doesn’t rip your heartstrings right out.

-Doc Terror



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